Tired

I just started and this whole new phase is beginning to be an eyesore. The amount of pain I put through myself just to keep my time occupied, you will be surprised. It was super unnecessary. But i ought to try out things I’ve never done before. I used up hours sitting down staring at birds and wondering how life is so free for them. How do they mark their territory? How do they get food? Do they know I actually hate them? Do they have any hatred with human beings? I also found the new time spent at the laundry! Oh boy the feeling when you smell fresh laundry and the hotness after you give them a good dry spin. Really uncalled for but whatever it is to get the day going. Then thats where I’ll be.

I wonder how are you doing out there? I believe time is well spent either sleeping or working. Not that I could ever ask because. You know. But sometimes I hear you talk wherever I go. Asking me not to do this and do that. Oh much misses. I wanna keep up to date. But I keep on blaming myself as to why things are hard between us. I can’t deny, it is my fault. But I can’t do much if all I get is pure ignorance. If I have to stand back and just wish time would pass by faster, time would tell how much time I actually waited for things to get better. Now I hope you know that. Because Thats my only intention.

I came to terms that maybe this might not be the best decision. But I just, still want you. To be a part of this life. The request was simple. But hard to grasp. Having you by my side is all I ever wished for. And having you to witness the day it comes to life, is all I could ever think about. Maybe you might not be able to witness all the other milestones. But for a start, this simple request. I hope you could think through.

Now as for myself. I’m coping. I’m eating. I’m still trying. As we look back, I’m gonna pat myself on the back and tell everyone to their faces that I’ve did it and I can actually do it. So with that, I hope all is well on your side. Until the next life story.